I No Speekee Chinee

 Am strangely calm, cool and collect about my coming first Mandarin Mass this Saturday evening (3 July, 8 p.m.).

Have already done up the clear folder pages where the Hanyu Pinyin characters of the entire mass which includes the homily which I shall give that evening are neatly arranged. All is set. It remains to be seen how well or horrible I will sound to the congregation when I open my mouth and begin to speak... (remember the "pig's thigh" instead of "bishop"?)