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Wednesday, October 03, 2007

The Answer of Me

give me strength when I am weary...
give me hope when I can't see through my crosses...
The Answer
I sit here in semi-darkness, with only the red table lamp's yellowish glow as my source of light. I struggle to find words, sentences, meanings to put into a sensible whole of what I am currently feeling and experiencing now but am failing miserably. Perhaps, it's this ample time that is now available for my use which I am not use to after so many years always doing things or to be in the midst of engaging in some sort of work...

It can be quite difficult to, once again, slow down and consider all what I have done so far and see if they have been meaningful or just plain silly. But that is the situation that I have before me now. Perhaps the course which I am taking soon may open up a few windows of opportunity to see if there are any available answers...

it's not that easy to be he, me...
Superman, Smallville
It's never been easy walking the fine line of measuring up to people's expectation or following what it means to be me. Doing that walk has been exhausting and, though, I may be away from that awhile, I can't run away from it because it is a reality that will not go away. I'm no superman (Nietzche's version or Warner Bros') and I don't intend to be one - ever. I just want to be me!

Maybe it is the gentle glow of the table lamp or perhaps the quiet calmness of tonight. I dunno... :-)

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

"First, I rest my tender regards on the hidden Jesus, on Jesus prisoner of His love, on Jesus obedient to His ministers. The senses are prohibited,reason is astonished, faith cries out,.. How noble and touching are the motives for which He hides Himself ,neath these obscure appearances. If he dazzled His ministers by His Majesty, He would halt their functions. Incharming their ears, He would impede their steps by this show of exterior power. He would make them tremble. He likes better to abandon Himself into their hands, without restrictons, without resistance, without any reservations. Such is the law which His love imposes on Him. Whether His ministers take Him from the Tabernacle to give Him to the faithful, to expose Him to adoration, to bring Him to the sick, or to bless the people, He is always there. He is always disposed to do their will. Everyday from sunrise until the following daybreak, Jesus is ready to obey them. Whether they carry Him visibly of they judge proper to hide Him in their bosom, Jesus Christ abandons Himself to them. O priests! who will be able to recount your privileges! The Lamb was immolated for all, but you alone are charged with doing the honors at His table and it is you who inbite the guests to the celestial banquet." A quote that may be helpful from a booklet " L,AMOUR INFINI dans la DIVINE EUCHARISTIE"

Anonymous said...

Alleluia,Alleluia The Son of Man came to serve,and to give his life as a ransom for many. Alleluia!!! To imitate that dose not sound silly,to think we can duplicate it perfectly or achive it on our own,now that sounds silly.

Anonymous said...

remember your song 'These Friends of Mine " Christ say the same thing to each of us.

Anonymous said...

while CHRIST,S WORDS may not be exactly the same as the song,they are of the of the same dignity that He has called us to ,if not more. If open to the call He has raised us to,and has encouraged us by the words "BE NOT AFRAID".

Elaine said...

"L,AMOUR INFINI dans la DIVINE EUCHARISTIE"
In French, it means, "love infinitely, in the divine Eucharist" If I am not wrong =)
I just had french exam yesterday =D

Father Aloy, your identity is in Christ, not in anyone's expectations...
I pray that Papa's love fills you, and His Sweet Holy Spirit guides you.

=)

Elaine said...

Oh, Father Aloy, my e-mail is this:
laine_87@hotmail.com

Or, u can use my uni mail,
u0602323@nus.edu.sg

=)

Patricia said...

Just a sharing,

its a sweet relief to know or at least b able to draw my identity from Christ.

its crazy how this post-modern (globalization, etc) (if one accepts this ubiquitous (correct spelling?) term) world galvanizes feelings of displacement -

Today, identity is an entity that is subjected to a tenacious investigation (in the cultural/aesthetic/spiritual sense), spured by Freud's theory of the ego and the super-ego - so u r nt alone Father Aloy -

How much of one's identity is fabricated by sociological factors, political stands, nationalistic sentiments etc.

For me (at this point at least), its sweet to know that all the Schopenhaur/Nietzche-type of intellectual posturing (rogue philosophy?) just get blown to bits when I stand even God (in moments of spiritual intimacy).

Its good to (via the conviction of the Holy Spirit; the conviction of the Third Person of the Holy Trinity is an experience (from the philosophical viewpoint, one may call it a Kantian a priori knowledge) know that God is not some Hegelian-fabricated entity , a concept thought up by man to satisfy his spiritual yearnings.

So between 'walking the fine line of measuring up to people's expectation' (discern, discern, discern; reality always falls short of the Platonic Ideal anyway) and 'following what it means to be me' is an artful synthesis -ha!!

So er, are u falling asleep yet Father Aloy?! Sorry, didn't mean to be such a philosophical Cheong Hei (nag) -

May the Holy Spirit (the entity that forever escapes intellectual posturing, logical investigation and precise definition and defamation) overshadow our intellect always! And help us to know and be (experience) our identities (status) as children/servants/disciples of God. Constantly, always, everywhere, forever. AMEN. :)

Aloysius said...

amen! :-D

Anonymous said...

Somehow i just feel the exact same thing you felt when you wrote this...

Joanne

Anonymous said...

"who they are and how their made" ,so i see that your identy is in Christ and these friends of yours have shared the time in your own moment of the garden you,ve shared in Christ sufferings . "and I hope they remeber this is the bond they have together"

 

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