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Saturday, December 14, 2002

Remaining Focused
Running around the past few days, tying up loose ends in preparation for our Diaconate. Had our albs made and measured at the FMM house. I got myself a clerical shirt too. Then there was the meeting with Fr Richards to finalise the details for the usage of the church. After all that is over, there was still the guest list to consider. Am still in the midst of drawing up the details, but I've managed to do up my Reuters guests yesterday. That was because I went over to the Reuters office yesterday and met up with some old colleagues who are still around.

Now awaiting the start of my 5-day retreat with Fr Lawrence Andrews. We begin this evening and will end by the 20th Dec. Perhaps the retreat will bring up some insightful experiences that would help me grasp the Diaconate ministry with a little more sense of completion from my Seminary studies. After 8 years of studies and formation, it is rather scary to see oneself beginning to assume an essential role of sorts in the ministry. Even after all that years of pastoral work and exposure may not be enough to prepare oneself to deal adequately with what may turn up. But that's what make life an interesting 'gamble' sometimes. You'll never be able to adequately see the 'light' at the end of the tunnel but you somehow know vaguely if things are not moving within your expectations. The difficult part in all this is how to deal with the missing pieces and the consequences one finds oneself in. The demands on the ministry these days are getting greater and it seems that there is no let up to the dubious kinds of expectations parishioners have of their priests. Trying, now, to find the joys in these challenges is a challenge in itself! Well, I know what I am getting myself into. I just hope I am able to last through it all. With God's will I may just scrape through. The secret here is to remain focused...

I liken the eight years past as part 1 of The Lord of the Rings (Fellowship of the Ring) and my eventual ministry into the Diaconate and the priesthood as Pt 2 (The Two Towers). So, this ring-bearer has his work cut out for him...

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