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Thursday, September 01, 2005

*Sigh*

As I am writing this down, I am sitting on my bunk bed with the air-con humming gently in the background, earphones on my ears with k.d. lang's Hymn From the 49th Parallel wafting in and out of my consciousness.

Someone asked me why I am sighing so much...

Today I was feeling rather directionless and a little listless. Perhaps it may be that I couldn't make up my mind whether I should help or ignore, be more assertive or let things be, among other things. For the first, it is the frustration of discerning whether handouts can be given to those who come by the church seeking monetary help. Lately there has been a spate of Malay families coming into our premises desperately seeking some form of handout that they have to be directed to the care of our St Vincent de Paul members. In helping them, word may go around that the parish here is the place to come to for such situations and that we are so-called 'rich' and 'obliging'. This then may invite all sorts of scrupulous oddballs or dubious individuals wanting to seek a fast one in getting money through this system.

The second is about my level of control of those groups and ministries under my direction. I am not sure if my current dealings with them may need further tightening and hand-holding. For any ministry that is called to live out of the Christ principles within the scope of their activities, I don't know if some members are in this only by name. The needed examples that calls forth from them are not so exacting and clear. An area of worry and constantly a burden on my mind is the area of catechesis...

On top of all these, there are also other pastoral matters that demands equal and urgent attention which seem to patch or rectify problem created by others. As if my own isn't enough... *sigh*

Ever had one of those days?...

9 comments:

Young Minstrel said...

rather *sigh* than bottle up all inside..that's what a blog is for..hearhear!

Kim said...

Remember me?

Since I am just posting a comment and since it is easy just to comment ...

If the Church's 'preferential option for the poor' is to be lived genuinely, such that it becomes our way of being ... obviously, SVDP is but a drop in the ocean ...

But 'working within the system', do you imagine there can be a couple of SVDP stalwarts, say, chosen from among the retirees, housewives or those working from home, who can be relied for such a service. Oh, what service? I mean, should anyone come to the church's doorstep, he/she will be referred to these said 'stalwarts'. This way, the 'stalwarts' might be well-placed to assist more 'holistically'. These said 'stalwarts' can even be trained ...

You see, I’m in a brilliant mood to comment on others’ unhappiness because I’m most unhappy myself now. Keep me in your prayers.

As for catechesis … Ha ha! You know my sentiments on that … Send in the Inquisition anytime, I say!

Jigsaw said...

Dear Fr Aloy,

Yes I'm having one of those days too. Depressed, though the reason for the season is my birthday tomorrow. Arrgh. Guess you're not alone in the Blues Quartier. Speaking of which, think of New Orleans and know that they are alot worse off than us.

As for the Malays who come to us for help. Don't you think that this is a great opportunity for the Catholic Church to be helpful to our Muslim brethren? Does "Give till it hurts!" come to mind. Ask the Archbishop for help for this is a golden opportunity to show that we care no matter what religion one belongs to.

I realise that there may be 'wolves among the sheep' but isn't it better to err on the good side? So what if we are looked upon as being "rich" and "obliging" better be that then being otherwise!

I guess it is also necessary for you to network with the Muslim community organisations. There are many, NCSS can give you list or can you get it on some website?

Cheer Up "Middle aging 'young' priest".... each day is an opportunity to do something for the Master.... Go Do It!

Follower of your blog said...

hi father, at least the problems faced are work in nature, which is bearable, in my opinion. what i feel is more frustrating and distressing are problems faced in dealings with others, e.g. being taken advantage of, not being appreciated, encounters with people who don't give a damn who you are. i admit that at times when we are directionless and don't know who to turn to, feelings of loneliness and helplessness sets in. just some reflection.

Jigsaw said...

Dear Follower,
Know what you mean, but have come to realise that if one looks to humans for that "Pat On The Back!" forget it... not coming. Look to the ONE who's POTB means a lot lot more than mere words. God bless.

Anonymous said...

Uncle David used to say those who walk in who say "my children do not have anything to eat". he say his heart breaks. he ever given a $50 note. and he said priests oso got it the same day - from other walk-ins - "my children got nothing to eat" that certain day i do not know it is fortunate or not.

Have you thought of it fr aloy, it could be month end - financal expenses run dry.

Anonymous said...

what i meant is month end, starting of month where expenses might be high.

Hey do not sigh leh.........i am stuck here at home, everywhere - the hungry ghost month last day loved ones burning gifts for their deceased in "the other world". my nose is running.........can't stand the smell but just respect culture. I am the one suppsed to be sighing. Pray hard that I do not get a wheezing attack and then let's see who be SIGHING.........

I do not think it is unusually for the malay community to walk in to ask for handouts. I have many contacts with them because of my job scope and and its not unusual for them not to have the "mininum balance" they need to have or anyone need to have in their bank accounts. or they tell u upfront, i do not have enuf even to feed my family. you might call me heartless at times but sometimes it could be their way of 'brushing me off'. used to be like you when i 1st entered this trade, brought home their problems but nowadays i learn to let go.

Anonymous said...

*sigh* ever have one of those LIVES??? hahahaha :D

I hear you. I understand.

Prayers for you on it. My one church in downtown Columbus, Ohio USA had this same problem and handled it (not sure how)...but it was a problem. The Basilica of St Joseph (lovely).

Well, my baby just got over a 5 day fever and now my puppy dog of 3 years out-of-the-blue her back legs are not working and it is some disease and she'll have to be put down...and lots more...so, *sigh*

We can all share our *sighs* together..LOL united w/ Jesus' *sighs*....oooooo He had them!

Anonymous said...

When you are down the Eucharist doesn't mean anything also lah. because you are troubled.

Standing infront of Flowerwall talking to Mother Mary maybe can help, try. or just by standing there. She knows your problems even before you open your mouth.

 

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