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Sunday, September 05, 2004

Counting One's Costs

It was something Fr AJ said in his homily today as I was celebrating the 6.00 p.m. evening Mass. Count the costs, are we Christ's disciples?, if we can't be willing to sacrifice oneself for the faith that we profess to; we are no disciples of Christ. Hard statements, yet nothing new for it came from the gospel reading of this Sunday.

As I was listening to the homily, I felt as if a great weight was imposed upon my shoulders. Never felt this since my last discerning 30-day retreat in Chiangmai. Then, it was because I was meditating on the passion of Christ as part of the Ignatian spiritual exercise of the 3rd week. I was feeling very burdened and was seeing things like in a 'black and white movie'. I felt I was carrying the weight of the cross that Jesus himself carried to Calvary. The feeling I felt during Mass this evening at this juncture was exactly like that: burdened, wearisome and perhaps even afraid.

It was as though I was feeling the sentiments of our people at that moment in time when they realised that it wasn't going to be easy to count the costs and to 'sacrifice'. Have we allowed ourselves to be tied down to our complacency and relative comforts, that we find it frightening to begin to be detached from all these, even for a while?...

We need to plumb the depths of Eph 1: 3ff to see why we can have the necessary convictions to see us sufficiently abled to plow through the adversities of life and engage positively to transform the world!

5 comments:

Jude Gal said...

i thought i was the ONI ONE havng tat kind of "feelings" b4 mass, but a/f mass felt better. esp when sum1 asked me "Are u going for mass?" when u went last nte liao. well, it mgt ve cme as a surprise but i juz needed to be close to HIM & to see mself in the glasspanel. sumtmes when u feel dwn, juz go infront of eucharist and "gain strength". no need to say anything HE UNDERSTANDS WAN. To tat sum1 a/f reading yr blog i tink i get it abt "SACRIFICE" - Understooded liao.

THE EUCHARIST MATTERS - Theme this yr.........
a/f work went dwn to novena church to see the FLOWERWALL - very the "mama" colors. heehee.........was praying to our lady and an INDIAN guy cme next to me & asked me "isn't there evening mass?i told him "Youth mass with Fr Simon". he told me he attends daily mass at novena. asked me was i staying for mass and when i looked ard, didn't see my "age grp" kind of pple but a lot of youths & aunties and uncles type. remembered fr simon at a tok in hfc say b4 "pple my age buzy with careers - dun ve tme for anything" it's true. i said my prayers & left........while i saw fr simon cming dwn the stairs to mingle with the youths. this yr no chance of going near the crown as all "fenced" up getting ready for youth mass - SMS. this am on NEL was still deciding wan to go or not (tired a/f work), my yrly trip dwn to see FLWERWALL but met a fren who started mentiong abt yestday's processn.

i was sharing with sum1 juz now tat maybe sumtmes u dun noe y u are "CALLED UPON" to do sumthings or certain stuffs till later on then u realised "God is preparing U for sumthing ahead - sumthing better".

well, fr aloy, it's gona be FRENCH LOAVES for DNER.........I noe u dun like bready stuffs but u better get used to it, or maybe FRENCH CAKES if sum1 in GOOD MOOD to bake. TEA WITH MILK still can consider but Green Tea easier lah. Heehee...........BTW, the song u sang last nte i wan to tell u when i was in nursery, started singing liao - 3 yr old ME. heehee........

Jude Gal said...

SpolitBrat says this "U are not walking ALONE" - Liverpool, I walk with u lah (Heehee) later u run faster. The words describe how i felt oso. but i was surprised u asked me THE QUESTION..........i dun noe y i gve u THE ANSWER oso. maybe it cme as a surprise question kind of thingy & oso i said wat i felt frm my heart. nothing to hide wat, i suppse u knew oso lah..........."Sumthing was wrong".

Fr Aloy u didn't sing the last part of the song "Now i am free........He's SO GOOD TO ME". heehee.......

Jude Gal said...

Jude Gal says Happy Birthday to MOTHER MARY......

Father In Heaven, Pse Grant me PATIENCE.

Fr Aloy In HFC, Wat Take Care? u seldom say tat to me ........heehee........i still IN ONE FULL PIECE but anyway THKS A LOT. do i sound tat terok? am very drained of toking to all of my clients 2day.

zis morning one of my clients "TINK" i running sum Couselling HOTLINE, started tellg me abt his 'D' Status, maintenance and wat nots - his pblems??? nevermind tat u can "deal" with my lawyers. helo, i dun deal with lawyers and dun wish to deal with em'.

left exactly at 12pm lunchtme, waved my RITE hand, never take those with ah peks driving nvermind tat, vehicle 'rundwn' type. helo, i told uncle 'u juz tke me fastest to my destination, my appt is b4 1230pm'. he happily driving all one round nevermd go by rivervalley rd, reach taka - can understand road is always jammed there due to unloading of goods, a/f junction is paragon, the whole damn road was clear he was still taking his own sweet tme - no cars on the road, i tink he wanted to earn a few more cents. i was like? helo i told u oredi i need to go for a medical appt. like tortise, i "screamed at him". nevermind, dun noe wat made me at medical centre check hp, i returned call, COMPETITOR called me and asked me u want to get more of our products? i was like? helo where u got my particulars frm? normally i dun reveal my industry but i juz shot back - i in this industry 5 yrs liao. dun want to tok, screaming in the lift - hp......ya lah but pple in the lift oso,using my agent's leads to call me i was like helo? which company go figure out. another agent using another agent's leads - maybe paid for leads? haha........ Thk God i wasn't late for my appt.

i HIT JACKPOT, dun ask me i oso dun noe, i SPRAINED my left hand with my fingers and palm, i dun noe wat i carried or watever, i am not like my mei2. i am a very lefthander ..........it's affecting me. but still can type. due to my allergy i can't anyhow take medcne tats y had to go back to my own doc. best part is doc asked me "u fell dwn - where?" i was like no lah, i didn't fall dwn, wanted to tell him - there would have been an earthquake. heehee..... now my mei2 & me equal lor, we use the same ointment for our fingers and palm. .......all these ah peks in the ams - 50 yr old and above made me kena CHESTPAIN oso, DUN WAN TO LISTEN SO STUBBORN..........Problematic - can vomit blood.

Fr Aloy, Thk U for yr TAKE CARE, u can see frm HFC tat SPOLITBRAT (in sengkang) is unwell? or drained/tired? or watever, u supernatural power zit? juz venting here lah.........

Poland or England?

Jude Gal said...

Happy Birthday Mther Mary.

Father In Heaven, Pse Grant me PATIENCE & Assist those who are TROUBLED. (Not me definitely, NO ENERGY TO TOK OR TINK, TOO DRAINED BY ALL THESE .........Fill in Blanks yrself).

Fr Aloy Thk U for yr "TAKE CARE". u seldm say 'TAKE CARE' to me, u can see frm HFC i am unwell zit? heehee.......i was like??? i oso never say anything, how u noe? Been a long & tiring day - draining.......clients tink i running sum Counselling HOTLINE. i am in SALES not runng sum watever family svc centre.

dun noe how i SPRAINED MY LEFT HAND & FINGERS,hit JACKPOT ....... I very the lefthander but still can type. my doc asked me "u fell?" wanted tell him then got "earthquake". heehee.......i really dun noe how i sprained, now joined my mei2 ........ muz go COOLOFF, 2day the 50 yr old ah peks can make me vomit blood & gve CHESTPAINS - on the line with them. so pblematic and stubborn all these ah peks. was on my way to clinic, waved my hand - taxi drver wanted to earn few more cents, helo i say liao i rushing to medcal appt - lunchtme. then dun noe y at medcal centre i juz checked hp, COMPETITER called me & asked me u want to buy our products, even in lift with other patients, i was like? helo - i been in zis industry 5 yrs, how u got my particulars, really dun noe, not my agent called me but another agent maybe she bought leads. hahaha......sorrie Competiter u called me at wrong tme/day when my own clients oredi making me vomit blood and u called? heehee......i vent at u lah. heehee, actually i very seldm reveal my industry. i rushing for medcal appt for my palm and fingers. where got tme to entertain u. my appt b4 1230pm and taxidrver was taking own sweet tme.

Poland or England? My BED.........

Fr Aloy juz venting........now i understand y u said TAKE CARE. heehee.............

Jude Gal said...

Happy Birthday MTHER MARY.........

Father In Heaven, Pse Grant me PATIENCE & Pray for those who are TROUBLED.

Fr Aloy, Thks for yr TKE CARE, i sounding drained or wat? very tiring day.......u seem to noe....

I am NOT running a COUSELLING HOTLINE. I am in Sales.
50 yr old ah peks very the pblematic cum stubborn. One of my clients tellg me abt his 'D' Story zis am.

was rushing to my own doc at lunchtme, waved my hand - told uncle - i need to get to clinic b4 1230pm. he jollywell wanted to make few more cents, went long way........on the way at paragon it was CLEAR ROAD - our dear fren still took his own sweet tme, i was like, helo, "i got medcal appt.........". he like purpsely TORTOISE. i hit JACKPOT, mei2 oredi fingers kena injured, now my turn - my palm & fingers sprained dun ask me how i got sprained coz i didn't carry heavy stuffs. doc was like "u fell dwn" i wanted tell him "then should ve an earthquake maybe in Sengkang or EAST area". heehee.........but still can type. at medical centre, competitor called me i juz dun noe y i checked hp. i had a very long morning "Entertaining D case plus all those stubborn ah peks on the line", the next person who gets on phone with me sure get it. heehee...........i seldm get fedup nevermind tat SELDOM Disclose my INDUSTRY, dun noe y at the medcial centre i was screaming into hp & tellg the agent, helo where u got my particulars, behaving like a customer oso. heehee.......it was weird it wasn't my agent who called me but sum1 else - another agent, MAYBE she BOUGHT LEADS. are they allowed to do tat? really dun noe. hahaha.........i wasn't in pain juz on off - PALM & FINGERS but be surprised all these "Couselling cases" can cause CHESTPAIN, a lot of energy used on them. maybe i feeling frustrated coz i am a very "Lefthander". now i have to use RITE Hand - weaker lah, more difficult. pain on off but WON'T DIE SO EASILY WAN. maybe HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE with all these 50 yr old above ah peks, can kill me, so stubborn........

Poland or England - My BED...........

The words Take Care comes in handy now. juz wonder how u noe?

 

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